Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Tortuous logic

Shorter Judge Kaplan: "Sure, you have the right have the right to a speedy trial, unless the government wants to torture you."

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Over, and not

Our long National League nightmare is over, 3 - 1.
Our national nightmare, just beginning.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Bibi comes a calling

Accused serial abuser Bibi Netanyahu comes bringing candy (supposed easing of the Gaza blockade) and flowers (supposed freeze on settlements) to the White House to make up with his main bitch, Preznit Obama.

Optimists think that a reconciliation might be in the works. Others are not so sanguine.

"Obama needs to avoid talking shit to Big Bibi.", VP Biden said, ducking his head to hide his own scars, courtesy of the Israeli PM. "He's tense now, what with [Israeli FM] Lieberman talking trash to the Turks and swinging a big dick in his face. This is no time to piss him off."

Other White House officials, speaking anonymously, disagreed with the Vice President. "Sure he's tense.", said one. "But Bibi knows that a good front is in everyone's interest now. Midterms in the US mean major bucks flowing his way. Obama will give him enough head to keep him calm, and we think a real reconciliation might 'restart' the relationship. This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

Independent observers from the major think tanks are mostly agreed that Obama needs to do more. "He hasn't convinced Bibi that he's faithful to the end.", said one. "Until then he'll have to take his punishment, and if he knows what's good for him, like it. Biden does it, Clinton does it, who the fuck does he think he is, anyway?".