Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Say it ain't so, Freddie

The bombshell news that Fred Thompson is dropping out of the presidential race has hit Blog Simple like a Boston cream pie hurled by a steroid juiced up pitcher from the good old days of baseball. Faithful and attentive readers will recall that BS boldly went out on a very high, slender limb to predict that Fred (later found out to be really Freddie) would be the next elected President of the USA.

So we were wrong, so sue us you pedantic, uptight bastards! Let's face it, instead of the folksy, good ol' boy in a pickup with a knockout wife, we got someone who was receiving excited bids from undertakers to get a piece of the only action left for Fred. Even the American public, even the Republican American public, is not ready for a man, not with one foot in the grave, but rather with just his dewlaps hanging out of the coffin and allowing us to believe there might still be a living being attached.

So with one dead candidate, and Giuliani looking, if not dead, at least undead, the plot has thickened. Our research assistants, all young, good looking, intelligent and ambitious are scouring the news, interviewing sources, and marshaling the facts so that Blog Simple can bring you the future before it actually happens. Stay tuned!

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