Friday, May 16, 2008

Travels with Chumply

Feckless Leader's whirlwind victory tour continues... on to Saudi Arabia.

His mission:
1. Make an ass of himself asking for more, better, cheaper oil.
Result I - FAILURE, in that he didn't get what he asked for,
Result II- SUCCESS, in that he did make an ass of himself.

2. Stiffen the resolve of the Saudis to continue backing losers in Lebanon.
Result I - FAILURE, too late, they already lost. Everyone knows it but him.

3. Have Saudi Arabia join the brand new fight against EVIL.
Result I - SUCCESS, the Saudi FM:
warned Tehran that its support to what he termed Hezbollah's "coup" in Lebanon would affect Iran's relations with Arab and Islamic countries
Result II - FAILURE, Saudi Foreign Minister disavowed by king:
King Abdullah seemed to quickly dissociate himself from his foreign minister's dire warning to Iran. On Wednesday, the Saudi ambassador in Tehran, Osama bin Ahmad al-Sonosi, called on the chairman of Iran's Expediency Council, Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani, to hand over a letter from the Saudi monarch containing an invitation to the Iranian cleric leader to visit Riyadh to attend the International Islamic Dialogue Conference.
Result III - SUCCESS, gets the Saudis to make asses of themselves.

4. After failure in point 1, offers the Saudis nuclear technology that the Israelis can then bomb.
Result I - SUCCESS, the Saudis love fancy useless shit like all the arms they keep buying.
Result II - FAILURE, what if Bin Laden takes over? Oops.

Preliminary total:
FAILURES - 4
SUCCESSES - 4
This could be the awesomest trip ever with even one more success, and no failures. We'll be watching!

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